areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
