I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
