watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
