I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
