You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
