Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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