So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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