Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize