i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
