how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
