Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
