if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
