i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Randomize
