i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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