Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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