We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
