Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
