We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
