So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
