We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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