New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
