You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
