Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
