its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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