No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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