i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
