I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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