Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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