after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
