I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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