WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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