he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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