i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
