Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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