dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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