I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
