He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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