Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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