She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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