so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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