It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
