I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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