I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
