they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
