Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
