i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
