either way he was missing a nipple.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
