Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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