Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
