This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
