I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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