I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
