Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
