If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
